Sun, June 21, 2009 at 23:04
One day the tiredness of a busy life switched to the exhaustion of disease and I did not listen. I was too busy, the signals my body was sending too slight, too general, so easy to ignore and brush off – blaming the food we eat, working motherhood, living in London, and suddenly I find myself in a new neighbourhood.
On Tuesday morning E and I dropped Chi off at school and then walked to the hospital where I was seeing a gastro specialist who was going to give me the results of some tests he had scheduled the week before. On the way we talked schools, Singapore, the festival we had just brought tickets for and the potential for surgery I was facing. I had already planned to text the word “benign” to all that were waiting to hear, so when we sat down opposite the doctor and heard “malignant” “spread” “lymph nodes” “liver” life was temporarily put on pause.
Tuesday was not the greatest day.
It feels like a year has passed since then, a blur of meetings with doctors, nurses, counsellors, family, nonstop telephone calls and texts and I have enough flowers now thank you.
Tuesday is chemo day 1, I have no idea what my challenge entails, only that I am going in feeling strong, and positive. I am a mother of a four year old sweetheart. I do not have an option.
I am surrounded by my awesome family and friends, humbled by the generosity of everyone I have come into contact with in the last 6 days and am inspired by my daughters sparkle.
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